Good morning everyone! I hope the new year saw you all safely out of 2018 and into 2019!
The other day I was looking up photos online from past posts for the farm and found my self reviewing my past New Year's Day posts! It really sparked some great memories as well as memories of struggles that we faced in the past. I realized at that moment that while I do not keep a diary in a traditional sense I have been keeping one in a different format that my Grandma (who religiously kept a diary) couldn't even imagine! In thinking back to conversations with my father over the last few years I am now realizing that many of my grandparents, great-grandparents and many other family members kept diaries of their time on this earth. It is humbling to understand where this drive comes from to documents and share our experiences for future generations to read ad review. I just hope that in the future this documentation is not lost!
That being stated this time of year brings pause to the moment for me and triggers me to question where we are, where we are heading, what we have overcome, and what we have yet to do! Each year I look back and think to myself how did we do that? If you were to go back in time and ask me on 1-1-2018 if I was prepared to start an entirely new career, reorganize and grow an entirely different business, overcome almost losing my life, all while growing the farm business by 30% at the same time ..... would I have said yes? If given the option, would I have chosen to avoid any of these things or change the direction of the future... I cannot say. While a few of these things were very difficult to experience and overcome I feel that the experiences were irreplaceable and there is no way the future would be the same without them and I am glad that I was not given the option to skip or avoid them for that reason!
2018 in review
We grew tremendously here on the farm over the last 12 months. My brother has come on board to help when needed and he and I are considering paths to grow the farming business together and how we can do that as two separate entities but keep the family aspect of it. His help coupled with my new career path is allowing the flexibility to really see how far we can push this thing and what it can give back to us and our families!
To begin the year I was firmly planted in a long-term career with a company that I honestly thought I was going to retire from some day. As the winter gave way to spring it was becoming clear that something had to change. My workload was growing disproportionately to those around me and the successes gained were not worth the time I was losing with my family and myself. By mid-summer, it was clear that it was time for a change. Either work needed to change, or I needed to change work. I tried to effect a change at work before vacation with no reciprocated effort on the other end. We went on vacation with a heavy choice on my mind and a mind and heart full of a myriad of questions, concerns, and fears.
By day three it should have been clear to me and my family that I wasn't present in the moment and while I was with them at the beach my mind was elsewhere concerned with many things that it shouldn't have been concerned with. This brings us to the tipping point of the year, being sucked out to sea without a life vest or flotation device of any kind. I never ever under any circumstances want to come that close to death again until I am old and gray and it is my time. The days following that experience were rough and would not have been possible to process without the help of my family and my new extended family in Hatteras. As our vacation came to a close and we were driving home my mind was finally clear of all of the fodder of worry and uncertainty that had clouded my mind since early spring. I was no longer afraid of the unknown and was finally free to take the step that needed to happen for so long and put my family and our future first.
After one last final discussion the day following our return I turned in my resignation and began the journey down a completely new road. I went from a very firm regimented schedule with a vast workload for someone else to setting my own schedule and working in a tremendously more relaxed environment! The first week away from my long-term career was eye-opening, to say the least, in the vast amount of my time that my previous job was consuming and the tremendous stress load that it put on me. It took me about a month to realize that I had only begun to tap into my potential in sales and running a business and had never really been given the opportunity to do so in my last career!
I am now helping turn around a business that has plenty of work coming in and simply needed some solid direction and change to become very successful. It is fun to get to use my skills and talents and actually receive the appreciation and benefits of using those skills and talents both financially as well as on a personal level! I do not regret my past and what I accomplished at my previous job. I would not be able to do what I am doing today without those experiences. I genuinely am a little saddened that what I was capable of was never noticed or fully appreciated. However, that eventually set me free and has allowed me to take a giant leap towards my personal growth!
2018 saw both of my kids grow even more into individuals with their own lives beginning and an entirely new set of daily trials and tribulations! They are both doing very well in school ... even if they get into trouble from time to time ... which I am hoping they will move past soon!
Throughout all of this, my wife has been an anchor in keeping me grounded and helping me get thru everything that has happened this year. I, nor many of those around me, would be where we are today if not for her guidance and help in my growth. Because of the career change, I was able to take her on a much-belated honeymoon this fall. We went back to visit our extended family in Hatteras and spend a week just relaxing and fishing. It was something we have wanted to do for many years and we were finally able to make it happen. We hope to make this an annual trip but how that will play out each year is yet to be known!
Several years ago I posted about looking out into my pasture and what I saw growing there. This year we literally reseeded the pastures, both physically, and hypothetically! I tilled the pastures this year to rejuvenate them and give them new life and better production and product for the cattle. My hypothetical pasture as well was completely tilled, weeds removed, and reseeded in a more productive product with a much greater level of production and growth! Now we just need to fertilize, nurture, and harvest in a timely manner and we will have everything we need and hopefully some of what we want as well!
In closing, please cherish and value each day. Do not get bogged down in the daily struggles and worries as in the end, they mean nothing! To begin my capstone course in the last quarter of my college career my professor, Dr. Peg McMahon, had us each write our own eulogy. I encourage everyone to do this if you haven't. It is not an easy thing to do and will really change your way of thinking. During my experience on vacation this past assignment came to mind and is part of what made the decision to leave my long-term career a much easier decision. If I had not made it out of the water alive that day none of the worries I had on my mind would have mattered. Work would have gone on without me with little concern to the future of my family or any of the things I had not finished in my life. The worries of not having the income to cover bills or if we made the wrong decision on what to plant wouldn't have mattered either. What really matters and what is most important is that we are each genuinely living in the moment and getting the most out of each day.
If tomorrow never comes for you will not know, only those around you will.
What will they remember about you and the way you lived your life and spent your time?
Did you leave the world a better place than you found it?
Did you help those around you grow their pasture when possible?
Did you live each day to the fullest?
Don't wait till your final moment to take that day off to be with family or try something new to eat or start a new path! Be present in the moment now cause once it has passed it will never come back again!
Happy new year everyone!
May 2019 bring each of you the benefits of what you have sown in your pasture!
Kenny
